Your World belongs to You ONLY~~

I try so hard to get into the world that belongs to you... As you ask me last night why do i treat you in a so bad manners and lost my temper... but i couldnt answer u as i actually doesnt really know what my heArt thinking and feeling... Maybe you are right, u gave me the hints that i am thinking i still couldnt accept your life and your job.. U said u already came into my life and accept everything of me... and now we are married, i shouldnt lost my temper on you... but i just cant control myself.. Im so sorry to just keep quiet and keep blogging as i doesnt know who should i approach to especially... i doenst know how to express my feeling to you..as when i tell u my feling, mayb we end up in a quarrel or mayb...........? (upset)
U let me knew that since we are married u start ""that"" thing. I blame myself whether am i the one who gave u a lot of burden untill u need that kind of thing? If ya, then what should i do?? And why u keep lying on me untill i discovered myself? Last night u told me i should be prepared to face all this as i knew u are coming to this "world" (p/mun). If so, then can i answer he should also be prepare as your wife is not a loyal wife as last time i betrayed u once~and that time u choosed me back but also let me feel back the same feeling as u purposely show me u have an affair with other gal. Then why u want me back? to revenge? i understand u really love me and wanted to test on me how do i treat u, am i right?? I duwana mention the past but i jus cant stop thinking all those thing.. after married, i already forgot all the past, but the depressed feeling came back to my life. I had nightmare almost everynight.. i doesnt really know what i am thinking, or mayb some matter that is not bout you...
If one day u could read this blog, and i really hope the end is you choose the right path and a bright future for me and baby~ and remember, you have a choice, so why do you wanna get so trouble doing illegal thing, passing those "dirty" life? Waiting for the day!!! expiry : SOON !!
Hope u understand!!!!!!

My Lovely Evelyn sent me de photo... Thank you!!

22/9/2009 11.56pm

Why do i got so restless this few days? Why now i keep on crying non-stop? i am too emotional? emotional problem? or i am a "TOO MUCH" thinker? Just now he told me he is going out to enjoy as his boss birthday. Why am i so depressed after he told me tat? I did not trust him? No... then?? Why do i get cry so easily? I hate myself for being so annoying sometime.. 是不是我的要求太高了？要求的太过分了？？ isit for something that i cant get it also i dont allow he got it?? Am i tooo selfish? mayb this is my characteristic lor... How can i be more open minded and not to think so much? Really tension and stressfull... As baby is coming soon, there are more problem that we are goinng to face.. Haigh.. Why cant he understand me? Or mayb i dun understand him la.. Till now, i still cant accept anything ???? I couldnt give a true answer to myself la... Hope everything is fine la...