Thursday, January 28, 2010


Have u ever heard a hokkien song.. the starting is like that : "sim su na bor kong chu lai..."
try to find out then u will understand what i am talking bout...

who can i talk to.. actually life is like,,,.. sometime have to make a hard decision that we dont hope to make or mayb after we make it, that will hurt a lot of people..

Can i reverse time?? i really hope so....

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Your World belongs to You ONLY~~

I try so hard to get into the world that belongs to you... As you ask me last night why do i treat you in a so bad manners and lost my temper... but i couldnt answer u as i actually doesnt really know what my heArt thinking and feeling... Maybe you are right, u gave me the hints that i am thinking i still couldnt accept your life and your job.. U said u already came into my life and accept everything of me... and now we are married, i shouldnt lost my temper on you... but i just cant control myself.. Im so sorry to just keep quiet and keep blogging as i doesnt know who should i approach to especially... i doenst know how to express my feeling to when i tell u my feling, mayb we end up in a quarrel or mayb...........? (upset)
U let me knew that since we are married u start ""that"" thing. I blame myself whether am i the one who gave u a lot of burden untill u need that kind of thing? If ya, then what should i do?? And why u keep lying on me untill i discovered myself? Last night u told me i should be prepared to face all this as i knew u are coming to this "world" (p/mun). If so, then can i answer he should also be prepare as your wife is not a loyal wife as last time i betrayed u once~and that time u choosed me back but also let me feel back the same feeling as u purposely show me u have an affair with other gal. Then why u want me back? to revenge? i understand u really love me and wanted to test on me how do i treat u, am i right?? I duwana mention the past but i jus cant stop thinking all those thing.. after married, i already forgot all the past, but the depressed feeling came back to my life. I had nightmare almost everynight.. i doesnt really know what i am thinking, or mayb some matter that is not bout you...
If one day u could read this blog, and i really hope the end is you choose the right path and a bright future for me and baby~ and remember, you have a choice, so why do you wanna get so trouble doing illegal thing, passing those "dirty" life? Waiting for the day!!! expiry : SOON !!
Hope u understand!!!!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

My Lovely Evelyn sent me de photo... Thank you!!

22/9/2009 11.56pm

Why do i got so restless this few days? Why now i keep on crying non-stop? i am too emotional? emotional problem? or i am a "TOO MUCH" thinker? Just now he told me he is going out to enjoy as his boss birthday. Why am i so depressed after he told me tat? I did not trust him? No... then?? Why do i get cry so easily? I hate myself for being so annoying sometime.. 是不是我的要求太高了?要求的太过分了?? isit for something that i cant get it also i dont allow he got it?? Am i tooo selfish? mayb this is my characteristic lor... How can i be more open minded and not to think so much? Really tension and stressfull... As baby is coming soon, there are more problem that we are goinng to face.. Haigh.. Why cant he understand me? Or mayb i dun understand him la.. Till now, i still cant accept anything ???? I couldnt give a true answer to myself la... Hope everything is fine la...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Road ---> Direction ----> Future -----> ????

1st Sept 2009 12.34am
Why do i so upset ? Why do i so desperate? Why do i think so much as we doesnt really know how our future will be? Why do i choose the road that is so tough to go thru?? If i hadn't quit the bank job, i wont be thinking so much, mayb i regret i quit the job so eargerly? Why don't i listen to the elder's advise? Living without income is simply tough for me!!!! Maybe because of i am pregnant now so cant get a job, but i make a promise to myself, i wont jus stay at home like that and take care of a child from now till i grow old... i admit i like children alot, but i couldnt just waste my life taking care if baby like that.. I must have my own careeer. I just cant depends on someone or family. By now, i do really understand what should come first, but maybe is too late. However, i wont just let my life go on like that. If i would have own career, i am sure i wouldnt be so tension now.

Do i feel regret on the path that i had choosen now?? I cant really answer myself. All i want is jus a normal and happy life and family..,without risk and worriness.
Why at the end what i get is im always worry, upset and desperate? Maybe my words is too harsh to him thru this passage, i am sorry but is a just the most easier way for me to express my feeling.
XXXXXX, if u do love a person, i think all you should do is show him/her your care, your love, let him feel safety and comfortable being along with you, and NOT those worries and heart feeling on him/her, right??
Yup, absolutely CORRECT, i started to understand, we shouldnt be so selfish as we already owned something that is called "FAMILY". You should take good care of it, and not just to go the way you like it, without caring your family members's feeling.
I understand i should understand your thinking and your needs.!!!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Its been six months having this little baby in my tummy..

Feel myself fat fat round round dy... so funny!!

Cant wait to deliver this baby to this world.. Hope that she or he is healthy and fine... My naughty baby doesnt wanna let me know whether he/she is a boy/girl.. naughty baby~

Do i look fat actually?